The Facebook Hiatus

Two weeks ago I decided to take a faceook hiatus and deactivated my facebook account. (Those that know me well know that I have had a love/hate with facebook since it's inception).

My reason for removing myself from the social slipstream? Purely attention deficit. I was spending more time reading status updates than reading essays or books.

Now, I'm a self-professed obsessive about time management and a fierce opponent of life-wasting activities. I have been a regular reader of Nicholas Carr's blog (author of The Shallows: What the Internet is Doing to Our Brain) and a staunch advocate of the "Getting Things Done" methodology of David Allen. I'm keenly aware of most people's attitudes toward social media as a time waster. You would think I would know better but I found myself hurtling along the social consumption channel with so much regularity that I decided to stop the flow. Since I'm no facebook acolyte, I had expected to confirm facebook as the massive life-suck it is often accused of being: a crutch for the listless and an opiate for the masses (elitist, I know).

I was wrong.

What did I miss during these two short weeks? I suffered no withdrawals as some have when they deactivated but I most certainly missed my network of friends and acquaintances. I also, surprisingly, missed the simple act of sharing on facebook. Life's simple pleasures (running five miles, seeing a famous historical artifact, reflecting on a good book) are sweetest when shared with friends. Moreover, I missed glimpses of these small celebrations in the lives of my friends and family.

What did I not miss? Random invites (Sims, Mafia Wars and its ilk). Indiscriminate invective of the passive-aggressive. Random inanity from people whom I definitely want to stay connected to but don't necessarily want to talk to everyday (surely I'm not alone in that, am I?). I also didn't miss that little black frenemy cloud. You know the one, the little dark useless puff that follows what you say and comments only to be dismissive or derisive. Not that I've had a ton but one troll/hater/stalker is enough to blighten any day.

The real question is, did I accomplish anything in two weeks? Yes. I started running again (long overdue). I read The Body Artist by DeLillo, Darkness Visible by Styron and Paul and Me by A. E. Hotchner (guilty pleasure). I finally read an author that has been high on my wish list, the renown Native American writer N. Scott Momaday. I finished House Made of Dawn and read (and reread) A Divine Blindness: The Place of Words in a State of Grace (beautiful essay). I resolved to crank up my commitment to this blog (no posts in that time, but, hey, gotta start somewhere) and I spent a lot more time outdoors. An interesting sidebar: I also spent more time sharing text messages and images with my family first rather than loosely connected friends first. (It's hard to lose that sharing impulse once it becomes a part of your DNA. It reminded me that text is a far more intimate form of conversation than "status updates").

Final thoughts on the facebook Hiatus experience?

1. Facebook, though not a life-suck for many, is a life diminution. Our facebook posts are not the sum total of who we are though they are the sum total of the persona we create (intentionally or unintentionally). Fact is, we only share a fraction of who we really are. Human beings are far more sacred and complex to be reduced to social sound bites. I try to remember this about my friends, we should give more social deference than we often submit.
2. Develop the habit of rich consumption first. Because we hold in our hands the wealth of the world's knowledge and ostensibly, libraries larger than the vast horde of Alexandria, we posses a powerful freedom: the freedom to educate ourselves. The biggest facebook lesson for me was to fill life's tiny moments with ingestible insight from sources other than facebook and twitter and make this heuristic act an impulsive habit. (For example, when standing in line at the grocery store, I instinctively picked up my phone and started reading where I left off in my current digital book, Storyteller Uprising: Trust and Persuasion in the Digital Age. Prior to the Facebook Hiatus, I would have simply slipped back into the social stream).
3. Though I am a happy introvert, I secretly relish those movie moments in period films where friends gather for multi-course meals and indulge in profusely intelligent conversation. Like the woman who resolved to visit all her facebook friends, the facebook hiatus forced me to think of ways to extend social media to include more social connectedness.

I am glad to be back on facebook with my friends and family but I endeavor to practice moderation, at least as it relates to that which I consume. Social media in all its forms (Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, etc.) are delicious snacks and at times are are even founts of fascinating insight but taken as a whole, scarcely hearty enough for one's only diet.

Comments

[Karen Jay Hoke]

Well done, Mr. Lehew!

[Bobby Lehew]

Thanks, Karen!

[Ken Jurden]

Very nicely written Bobby!

[Jason B]

Hey Bobby - interesting to hear how your hiatus went. I have contemplated the idea of bombing my facebook account altogether more than once. Also relate to the "frenemy" out there (who needs 'em?).

Still, like you, I find FB useful for staying connected to what's happening in my "network", and sometimes for sheer entertainment (no harm in that). So I still check-in occasionally, but limit how often I visit, and how long I stay. Thanks for sharing your experience!

[Heidi Thorne]

Bobby, you and I are definitely on the same page with Facebook. I've been pursuing my own Facebook hiatus. Twitter, well, still addicted there. Why? Because I have been able to make valuable connections and gain new clients through it.

This brings up an important point that I emphasize in my presentations on social media: Concentrate on networks of value for YOU. For me, Twitter is still producing the kind of results (and fun!) that I am looking for from social media. Facebook, LinkedIn? Not. Jury is still out on Google Plus. It's feeling a lot like Facebook with a different audience. Not seeing anything measurable from it yet.

Glad we're connected in the real world!

[Bobby Lehew]

Thanks, Ken!

[Bobby Lehew]

Thank you for the feedback, Heidi. Love your advice on sticking with networks most important to you, it also keeps you on track, cultivating the right kinds (vs 'how many'). Glad we are connected as well!

[Bobby Lehew]

Thanks, Jason, for replying (and hitting me up via LinkedIn). I wonder how many of us have contemplated that about our facebook accounts. Someone mentioned to me recently all the hacks and tips you could do to minimize your facebook irritations but it all seems like too much work (and I've done many of them). For me, the biggest question I was trying to ask was, "If you are trading lifestyles, like spending more time on facebook, you have to ask yourself, are you trading up?" For many, the answer would be yes, for some, no. My final conclusion was that I like staying connected to my network via facebook but I didn't like trading a lifestyle of rich consumption for a lifestyle of transient consumption. A difficult balance. Thanks, again man, appreciate your response.